Made from wrinkly tin from ‘47 to ‘81, the H van should really be a MotorPunk favourite. It has DS running gear and 2CV headlamps. If it were an animal it would be a French Bulldog made out of wet cardboard by primary school children. Slow, rusty and ugly and particularly popular in the ‘70s we really should be enthusing about this Citroën. But we’re not. And you can blame the hipsters.

No city street, park or outdoor event is free from these things now. They serve organic, fair-trade, ethical coffee from a counter in tiny cups for silly prices. Can we get a soya foam babychino with a sprinkle of nut-free hazelnut, please. My life-partner will have the same. £22? Can I use Applepay? Sorry, my fur baby just pissed up your van.

I love the look of the H van. I’d like one to transport old bikes and smuggle booze and stuff. But while we should celebrate vans being used as vans these particular vans are a fookin’ honeypot to hipsters. And that’s not my cup of tea.

PS – what the bloody hell is a “Churros” anyway? All I want is a 50p cup of tepid tea and an ‘obnob.

About The Author

Rich Duisberg

Rich Duisberg* has had work published in Classic & Sportscar, Practical Performance Car, Modern Mini, Banzai, MogMag, Evo, GT Porsche, Complete Kit Car, Absolute Lotus, Alternative Cars, Classic Retro Modern, and elsewhere. Rich often appears on CBS’s XCAR and Carfection channels, and Motors TV, plus JayEmm on Cars, enthusing about historic motoring. His latest book (find his work on Amazon) was described by SniffPetrol as "hilarious", although he was also threatened with legal action by elderly DJ Tim Westwood. In his Midlands man cave is a 1972 Fiat 500, a Lotus Elise, a BMW barge and a vintage Royal Enfield pushbike. Previous machines of interest include an Mk1 MX5 (owned for 14 years!), an Alfa GTV6, a Porsche 968 and a Sinclair C5. The Metro (right) was bought for an experiment, and abandoned in Africa. "I am not getting in a car with him" -  said Le Mans winner, Derek Bell. *A nom-de-plume inspired by the BBC's League of Gentlemen.

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