We wouldn’t normally feature private plates. If it’s your car, it’s your business and they’re not a particularly MotorPunk sort of thing anyway. We’re more interested in cars enjoying an automotive adventure than any statement the owner is trying to make. But some of these are so bad, so funny, we had to share them. Here are the b35t of the worst private plate pics we’ve found;

The message underneath the plates above are nonsense. “Be loyal, be proud, be Stoke” – really? I ‘m not sure living in 51OKE is something to shout about, and the Mitsubishi wasn’t made in SC07LAND, was it?

‘C051 MAG’ might well be a ‘G’, but in this case I suspect G means Git. Even if you’re a Porsche driving BO55 you have to obey the laws of physics, and CE08 OSS is trying so hard to make a statement he forgot to park straight. DE51 RER is just gibberish even when spelled correctly and even those who indulge in chav-speak would agree that a white 1 series parked on the pavement isn’t ’51KKK’ at all.

These, above, are just plain offensive. The M5, driven by a self-confessed BA53 ARD, is actually a 530d. No surprise, is it?

These, above, make us laugh for a variety of reasons. That’s a Chinese made MG6 that claims to be ‘too sexy’, and the only Audi that’s ever given us even a hint of a twitch would be a classic Quattro, not some school-run SUV stating ‘orgasm’. The RS6 owner just wants to race, as do the GTRs, the Fiesta owner offers instant road-rage and the Focus, well..

No data protection concerns for Kenneth Evan Williams, born in 1937, kindly explaining his contrived plate. The mulleted Mr Lion got busted in Brighton  and there’s nothing ‘posh’ about a MK3 MR2 outside a council house.

Another badly parked RA11GYE Rover [sic], a S10 KTT (uh?) and we’ve no idea what the Evoque reg started life as. The green Focus’s plate would be better suited on a Renault 5 and ‘ooh, i3 BMW’ is funny, I suppose. A bit. And the best of the worst private plates? Actually, we think this is brilliant, – it’s a hideous Ssangyong Musso owned by someone with a great line in self-deprecation.

novelty registration plate nonsense (3)


Pics; Apologies for the whopping watermarks (‘puter does that) and thanks to this public thread on Pistonheads for the majority of the pics, happy to credit photographers if you get in touch. 


About The Author

Rich Duisberg

Rich Duisberg* has had work published in Classic & Sportscar, Practical Performance Car, Modern Mini, Banzai, MogMag, Evo, GT Porsche, Complete Kit Car, Absolute Lotus, Alternative Cars, Classic Retro Modern, and elsewhere. Rich often appears on CBS’s XCAR and Carfection channels, and Motors TV, plus JayEmm on Cars, enthusing about historic motoring. His latest book (find his work on Amazon) was described by SniffPetrol as "hilarious", although he was also threatened with legal action by elderly DJ Tim Westwood. In his Midlands man cave is a 1972 Fiat 500, a Lotus Elise, a BMW barge and a vintage Royal Enfield pushbike. Previous machines of interest include an Mk1 MX5 (owned for 14 years!), an Alfa GTV6, a Porsche 968 and a Sinclair C5. The Metro (right) was bought for an experiment, and abandoned in Africa. "I am not getting in a car with him" -  said Le Mans winner, Derek Bell. *A nom-de-plume inspired by the BBC's League of Gentlemen.

3 Responses

  1. Russell

    I owned that Musso and I still own that plate, it’s now taking pride of place on the Ssangyong Rodius, voted by Top Gear as the Fugliest car ever 🙂

    • Rich Duisberg
      Rich Duisberg

      Fantastic, top marks on your brilliant plate, and also on your left-field choice of motor! Thanks for getting in touch.

  2. Ben

    The guy with the green RS used to work for me. A proper Essex boy who fitted the stereotype perfectly. He got fined a lot for mis-spacing that plate and eventually they threatened to take it off him! To be honest it was the least anti-social thing about the car which had the loudest and nastiest sounding exhaust available to mankind. Fortunately it was usually broken after he had it chipped and it kept eating bits of itself!


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