Land Rover circulated a press release today recalling all Evoque models to rectify a manufacturing fault. Spokesperson Spen King-Spinninginhisgrave states; “Owners of all models built between 2011 and 2017 with the optional Banksman™ parking system should have their car checked at their nearest dealer” and helpfully added; “If you’re struggling to remember when 2011 was, it was when Little Mix won X Factor, OK hun?” Land Rover have been applauded for their innovative Banksman™ system, which works by deploying a man called Dave in a high viz vest to assist with the tricky business of parking. The recall is related to the Banksman™ volume levels, and states that under certain circumstances, such as when the driver is attempting to park diagonally in a disabled bay, that the driver may collide with the Banksman™ as they’re too busy on their mobile to hear them shouting; “go on, you’re all right, you’re all right, go on love, you’re all right – STOP!

About The Author

Rich Duisberg

Rich's drivel regularly appears in Practical Performance Car and GT Porsche magazines. He has also written for Classic & Sportscar, MogMag, Classic Performance and Retro, Banzai, Evo, and Modern Mini. He also did a book no-one bought. His hungover fizzog also often appears on CBS’s Carfection channel enthusing about historic motoring. Le Mans winner Derek Bell once refused to get in Rich's Morgan Three Wheeler with him at the wheel. Currently amongst the detritus in his garage is a 1972 Fiat 500 Abarth, a fat BMW and a Lotus Elise. Previous machinery includes a Porsche 968, an Alfa GTV V6 and a dreadful Sinclair C5. He also owns a vintage Royal Enfield pushbike.

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