Land Rover circulated a press release today recalling all Evoque models to rectify a manufacturing fault. Spokesperson Spen King-Spinninginhisgrave states; “Owners of all models built between 2011 and 2017 with the optional Banksman™ parking system should have their car checked at their nearest dealer” and helpfully added; “If you’re struggling to remember when 2011 was, it was when Little Mix won X Factor, OK hun?” Land Rover have been applauded for their innovative Banksman™ system, which works by deploying a man called Dave in a high viz vest to assist with the tricky business of parking. The recall is related to the Banksman™ volume levels, and states that under certain circumstances, such as when the driver is attempting to park diagonally in a disabled bay, that the driver may collide with the Banksman™ as they’re too busy on their mobile to hear them shouting; “go on, you’re all right, you’re all right, go on love, you’re all right – STOP!

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